Now every relationship has its ups and downs, but when deceit is evident I suggest you move on. Being codependent and with the sense that I was an example of a complete failure because I owed my family so much more, I stayed in a bad relationship for far too long. My nightmare slowly unfolded as I watched my marriage crumble to infidelity and habitual lying. As I spent more time at home and in my own despair, I started to question what was “really” happening. I finally realized that I was a victim of pure manipulation, and there was no extreme boundary of how far that liar would go to protect their fantasy world.
Habitual liars are manipulators. My wife was a manipulator and she was indeed lying to lead a “double life.” The extra time I had while dissolving my business gave me the opportunity to investigate and prove the infidelity, as well as many other lies. The story and lies all began to unfold. I realized that my wife was deeply involved with another man, and that relationship was disturbed. Yet, that relationship I learned was based almost entirely on lies.
After several incidents, self-investigation and finally meeting the other man, I learned that my wife was as deceitful with him as myself. The web of lies she spun to keep these two different worlds from colliding was incredible. She basically premised her whole relationship with this man around “our divorce” (a divorce or separation that never occurred and was never discussed), or at least that is what he said.
Through abundant lies she tried to manage her fantasy. A fantasy that consisted of depicting one life where she was a “normal” capable mother and wife to her friends and family. And, then she had another life where she was a “wild” divorcee that wanted to party and live a fantasy life. However, slowly and surely the manipulator’s lies began to fall apart. She could not keep the lies in balance to appease each “world” and lead the “double life” she so desired. All her efforts to keep the two worlds from colliding began to fail, and a power struggle emerged that ultimately lead to a “lovers triangle” situation. Once this was realized, there was no holds barred scenario put into effect that would ultimately destroy a family.
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