Definition Self Sabotage
Psychology Today defines self-sabotaging behavior as, “Behavior is said to be self–sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self–sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury.”
Do you currently feel that:
- your goals feel just out of reach
- you are settling for less than you really want
- And, you keep finding yourself at cross-roads on the way to your success?
You may be Self-Sabotaging, and it may be time to make some changes in your self-perception.
Break your self-sabotaging behaviors and start to #ChangeYourLife. Read the following list of self-sabotaging behavior or examples self sabotaging behavior and make the suggested changes to move past your current situation. Change your mindset. Create the life you desire! Nobody but yourself has the power to do so. Create your own drive to change your life little by little.
List Self Sabotaging Behaviors
Your FOCUS is flawed.
What are you focusing on? Self-sabotaging behavior begins with a focus on what is not working or missing in your life. Pay attention to how often you speak and think about what is wrong, this includes what is not working, not right, or missing. These thoughts will only attract more of the negative things you don’t want.
Change your Thinking and Change your Focus!
Ask yourself what is good in my life right now? Take notice of all the things that are working, no matter how small. You will begin to attract more positives into your life and that will lead you to your desires.
Stop looking only at where you are, and start looking at what you can be. As such, be aware of your thoughts. They soon become words and actions very soon after that.
Change your focus and thoughts to change your life!
Many people simply do not move forward because they are not willing to take the small step placed before them. If you have a dream, you should leap at the opportunity and move in the direction of your dream.
Don’t be afraid to take small steps. Momentum is powerful no matter how small. Many times the impossible is simply untried.
WORRY and FEAR
Are you spending time worrying about the future or the past? Do you stress about what is going to happen or might happen? This is another sign of self-sabotage.
Stop dwelling in worry and fear. If you are viewing your future from a position of fear, that view is completely wrong! Psychologists tell us nearly everything we worry about, does not happen. Worry is simply allowing fear to triumph over what you believe. Fear in itself can blow a situation out of proportion that might never come to pass. However, greatest danger of fear and worry is the fact that they causes us not to attempt where we should have dared to go.
An old Swedish proverb says, “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.”
Worry is simply the misuse of the creative imagination within us. When fear rises within us, we should learn to expect the opposite in our lives. The opposite of fear is the belief of a positive future. The word worry is derived from an Anglo-Saxon term meaning to strangle or to choke off. There is no question worry and fears choke off everything positive and productive in our lives.
Remember, things are seldom as they seem. As we dwell on and worry about matters beyond our control, a negative effect begins to set in. Too much analysis always leads to paralysis. Worry is a route that leads from somewhere to nowhere. Don’t let it direct your life!
Change your Thinking to the Present!
Live in the moment. You need to focus on the here and now only. If you are troubled, start to focus on a solution. Visualize a new life or circumstance. Visualize the outcome and positive place you want to be in, and then take action toward making it happen. Take action in this moment, then let it go. Make it a point to continue taking further action and continue to let go of your fears and worries.
Your point of power is in the present!
Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you find that you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel bad? Comparing yourself to others usually doesn’t motivate, but rather it makes you feel overwhelmed or not good enough. This is a sign of self-sabotage.
To overcome self-sabotage- focus on you and only you!
You are your greatest asset!
Do you ever feel worthless or not good enough? Do you look at yourself and make excuses for why you can’t be, do, or have what you want? Seeing yourself as unworthy does not motivate.
Get in touch with your inherent self-worth. The wisdom of the universe considers you so worthy that the universe gave you existence. If it did not, you simply would not be here. Learn to be your own greatest fan and supporter.
If you don’t value yourself, nobody else will do it for you.
Change your value systems!
Start to value yourself and feel your self-worth by becoming your greatest fan and supporter. For every small accomplishment, give yourself a pat on the back. Do it! Start to feel proud about yourself and take time to indulge in a small step to success or change. The accomplishment does not need to be a big. It could be very simple like getting up earlier. Any minor change is valuable! Begin or make time to appreciate yourself now.
Stop Living in the Past
Focusing on the past is a sign of self-sabotage. Whether you waste your time dwelling on past failures or past accomplishments, you are self-sabotaging. Use the past to grow and move forward. Don’t dwell on past actions.
Change your perceptions of the past!
If there is a failure you are dwelling upon, stop. Every success has been preceded by a mountain of failures. That is how we grow, learn, and improve. Change your thinking about what it means to fail. Instead of taking it as a shot to your self-esteem, consider it part of your learning process. Every great person (i.e. from athletes to business professionals) knows what it’s like to fail. They also know what it’s like to brush themselves off and get back at it.
As you let go of your past, you will free yourself to live in the present. Living in the present is your point of power.
When you find yourself in the present, Do Something! Take some small seemingly insignificant steps. Momentum will come your way.
If you find yourself today at a point of paralysis in your life, do something. Don’t worry about the long-term outcome or goal, just take steps that take you past the starting point. Soon you will get to a point of no return. As you climb higher, you will be able to see much farther. As you begin, do not be afraid. Every great idea is impossible from where you are starting today. However, little goals and steps add up, and they will add up quickly. Most people do not succeed because they are too afraid to start for a variety reasons and self-prohibiting thoughts.
Many times a final goal seems unreachable and we don’t even make an effort. However, once we have made our decision and a small commitment, it can feel as if we are halfway there. Start no matter what your circumstances are right now. Take that first step.
Don’t be your own Worst Enemy!
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Who judgement upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back in the glass
Some people may think you a straight-shootin’ chum
And call you a wonderful guy
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look at him straight in the eye
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he’s with you up to the end
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life
And get pats on your back as you pass
But the final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
If this article has touched you in some way, please feel free to comment. We want to create a dialogue and gather any input that helps in pursuit of happiness.
Never give up!